We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
