Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
