I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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