Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
