You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
