Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
