i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
