Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
