I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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