bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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