His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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