She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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