...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
as a side note pls kill me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
