I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
