I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
