The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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