i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
