don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
