I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
