youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize