Three words: puerto rican gang bang
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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