yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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