Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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