i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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