i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
