my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
