She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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