one might say we're banned from that church
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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