Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
