I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Actions speak louder than pants.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
false alarm, still single
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
