Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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