when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
