Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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