She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
