So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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