I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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