ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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