shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
