i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
