i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
