What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
