yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize