She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
