Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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