come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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