handjob tips. give me some.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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