Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
