Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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