Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
