It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I supernannyed him into submission
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
