hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
