sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
