Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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