and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
