If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
