it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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