i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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