hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
