Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize