I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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