Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
