No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
