then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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