I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Randomize
