What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My bed smells like the plague
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize