You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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