Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize