I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
