On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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