Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
